DHL and Apple Computers ruin my day

I've been planning to start up a blog for a while now. Just haven't had the time.

Today I had to do it. This story demanded to be told.

Everyone has a horrible customer service story to tell. You've spent hours on the phone disputing a bill. You've gotten the runaround from a company on the warranty for an expensive product.

A company can spend millions on overpriced consultants to build a slick customer service system that can produce satisfying results on record speed. But the slicker, the more streamlined, the more automated the system gets, the more inflexible it becomes. Today, I lived in Customer Service Hell.

Recently my iPod broke down (for the third time inside of a year). No big deal, I bought the two-year Apple Care plan. I'm covered. I sent in my iPod for service last week. Within 24 hours Apple emailed me and told me they were going to send me a new one. Great, fast service from Apple. Unfortunately, that's as good as it would get.

For you see, Apple uses DHL to ship iPods. DHL, home of the rudest customer service reps I've ever dealt with. DHL, the company that will only deliver to homes between the hours of 11am and 5pm (That's fine for unemployed customers but what about the rest of us?) DHL, the company that will only make a Saturday delivery if you hand the truck driver a $10 check as he hands you your package.

DHL tried to deliver my iPod at 11am Thursday. I was at work. I called them that night and asked them to deliver it on MLK day, since I had the day off.

I waited all day on MLK day for the DHL truck to roll up to my door. No sign. I called at 5pm for an explanation. The customer service rep apologized and said they'd deliver it on Tuesday. I requested the earliest possible delivery, since I needed to go to work. They promised 10:30 am. Fine. I'll be a couple hours late to work to get my $350 piece of technology.

But no DHL truck arrived. Around 11:30 I called the shipper again. This time I was transferred right away to Ron, a supervisor at some DHL facility in Massachusetts.

Ron fessed up. He told me my iPod had been stolen. Apparently the box Apple shipped it in turned up on a DHL conveyor belt, torn open and empty.

Gee thanks. When exactly were you going to call me up and tell me about the theft? It only took them 3 days to admit it to me. Until then they were happy to allow me to sit around my house all day waiting for a delivery.

The theft was no big deal, he said. This is a common issue. iPods get stolen all the time inside shipping companies, he admitted. All I have to do is call up Apple and they'll send me a new iPod. It will all be fine.

Wrong!

After excavating a phone number from Apple's web site, which is proudly designed to discourage phone calls, I called Apple with the happy news of the theft. I told them that DHL had admitted the theft. I asked the naive question: Can you send me a new one?

The customer service rep put me on hold for 10 minutes, then came back and said NO. She told me that DHL was responsible for giving me a new iPod.

Very well, I called DHL again. Ron got on the phone once again. He stated the obvious: "We don't have iPods in stock."

Ron connected me to Allan at DHL, who told me to call an 800 number and file a lost package claim. And so I called. A woman emailed me a form, which I faxed back to them. I called two hours later to check on my status. An investigator told me that they were processing my claim.

"It will take 30 to 60 days to complete the process," he told me.

30 to 60 days?

And after that?

"We will reimburse Apple for the lost package."

Apple? But it's my iPod. The man explained that DHL would reimburse Apple. Then Apple would send me a new iPod.

The day's events had inspired in me very little confidence that this process would play out smoothly. So I called Apple again to make sure that a new iPod would be sent to me. And if so, I was going to beg for them to send it via FedEx, UPS or the by mule train if necessary.

After being on hold for 10 minutes, I told my story to another Apple customer service rep, who promptly put me on hold for another 10 minutes. Another rep picked up, asked for my story again, and told me she would connect me to the "Solutions" department.

Solutions? That sounds promising. I'd love a solution to this situation!

After being on hold for 15 minutes, someone picked up, asked for my story. I told it again.

"Oh, you need the Solutions department," this person said.

"I thought I was talking to Solutions."

"No, I'll transfer you.”

Five seconds passed. The woman came back on the line.

"Sir, have you been transferred around a bunch of times?" she asked.

"Yes."

Apparently I had been transferred so many times that Apple's internal telecom refused to allow any more transfers. The customer service rep asked me to call back.

I asked for a direct line for this "Solutions" department. She told me there wasn't a direct line. She told me to call the same number I had just called and dial one.

I followed her instructions. A man answered. I asked for the Solutions department. The man had noooo idea what I was talking about. He asked for my story. I told it. He put me on hold for 15 minutes. He came back, asked some questions, put me on hold for another 5 minutes, and then came back with Matthew from "Repair Dispatch" who asked for my story again. I told it for the 100th time. Matthew put me on hold for 10 minutes.

Matthew came back and told me he had talked to DHL himself. FINALLY, after 5 hours of going back and forth between the two companies, someone at Apple had finally taken the step to bridge the gap. He had actually improvised!!!! He confirmed that DHL admitted to the theft. He said Apple would make sure the process of reimbursement would not take 30 to 60 days, but 7 to 10 days. That was an improvement.

Matthew told me that after I hung up someone would send me an email giving me a complete synopsis and update on how the situation was being handled, along with contact information for whoever was handling my case.

I felt great. Finally someone had taken charge, thrown out the standard response handbook and take care of a problem that was not anticipated by the architect of their customer service system (well not so unique since DHL admitted they have iPods stolen all the time predelivery).

Just one thing is wrong. It's been 12 hours, and that email hasn't arrived. Looks like tomorrow I'll have to dial up Apple again and sit on hold for 2 hours just to find out why that email was never sent